Tonight i just sat down and started clicking on links to peoples' blogs. Funny how the then-IN thing sort of just died away. While finding most blogs are idle or dead, i am quite surprised to find some of my friends still updating their blogs, although they've all some what became their private dairies, not meant to be read by the public, every entry speaking of their troubles and misery. And it struck me, how subconsciously i was backing out and isolating myself. Too obsessed with my own pseudo problems that i never did care about how my friends are doing. I just feel.. that im not ready. For my friends, for the world. I stopped talking, to the girls at my workplace ( i don't even call them "colleagues" because, to me, this isn't a real job), i stopped talking to my parents, my family.. I was waiting, for that change, that may never come. Lately, It feels like time is never enough, even though im very free. I would shut myself in my room, and let that emptiness consume me. I want something different. I know im waiting. I just don't know what im waiting for. I just want out. I want to just sit by the beach, and cry my heart out. even though i know that nothing would change.